I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
