Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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