Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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