his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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