You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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