So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize