You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
