No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
