Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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