I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
