i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
