Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize
