You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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