Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
