gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
