I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
