We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
