do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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