So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
