i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Its about making memories worth repressing
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
