my being single is dangerous.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
