Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
