if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
