I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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