In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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