You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
