OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
