I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
