I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
