he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
