I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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