I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
