Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
