No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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