some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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