Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
