im about as happy as oj after his trial
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have already put on my inside pants.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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