I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
