It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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