he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My breasts were aching with rage.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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