maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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