Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
