my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize