Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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