Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
