girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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