its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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