maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
