yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
