Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize