Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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