i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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